Hi Bloggie,

time really flies, it has been half a yr since i last talk to you. A lot of things has certainly changed. Myself, as well the pple ard me.

 

Work.

 

Smtimes i feel my workload is beyond my control. A lot of things i wished i had the time for. I only have 12 hours a day, and there is just so much i could do. I tried and tried each day, squeezed every possible minute, every one more min avail, i could have attend to one more issue, sent one more mail, called one more person, passed down one more information.

 

No matter how much harder I try, I received -ve feedback, this not done, that not done, missed out on this information, missed out on that abnormalty. I am really tired. I need a break.

 

I become emotional at the slightest provocation, perhaps as a means of escape, or as a means of protecting myself. I tried very hard to portray zero emotion on my face, but my zero emotion is an emotion, a sign of my unhappiness. I m unhappie, but i feel very trapped.

 

Work life balance

"I will be out in 10 mins." was probably my most overused and most fail-to-deliever statement. Why, becos i cant just leave yet, not that i love the place so much that i can bear to leave it to go for lunch. Having to skip meals, to me, is most demoralizing. The very basic entitlement to man's very basic need, and to take that away, is like a silent punishment. Many I know accepted it and lived with the thinking of work over self, but I simply cant, becos it is simply not rewarding. I cant help it that i fail to commit to my lunch timings with pple. Not many can accept that it is not within my control. Those who have tolerated me time and time again after i ve dissapoint u, failing to turn up for appointments,  i m really sorry.

 

My life is not within my control